I love living vicariously through the pain and suffering of others. I consider it part of my charm. So when I found fmylife.com, you can imagine how enthused I was. It's an entire site dedicated to life's little fucked up moments. Usually I sit an read it while I'm at work, and I must look so weird LOL-ing to the computer screen. Anyway, if you haven't been to fmylife.com, please check it out. It's an instant pick-me-up for those shitty days. Here are a few especially funny ones I was looking at today.
"Today, the phone kept ringing but there was only silence on the other line. The third time I yelled, "What the fuck is your fucking problem asshole!? Get a fucking life shithead!" and hung up. Then the pastor's wife called and explained that she mistakingly set her phone on mute. FML"
"Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML"
"Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML"
"Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we proceeded to have sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell your faking." FML"
and the funniest....
"Today, I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend and a giant wave came and knocked off the bottom of my bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowded beach. She left me for half an hour, laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML"
Try to have a good day lovers!
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