Funny pictures from around the interweb

I don't feel like writing, but here are some funny pictures I found while I was attempting to write! Enjoy.

For all the dirty minds...

For all the people with their minds in the gutter (like myself) does this commercial just miss the mark for you?


Yeeaahh....coulda came up with a better name for that....

Nothing Really Matters but Mooiii!

Just a bit of silliness to brighten your day:

Sessions Lives!!!!

Yes it is true. The wait is over. Sessions is back. We can stop crying over our sabbatical, and let's just pick up where we left off, shall we?

Where did we leave off? Well...graduation for one, saying goodbye to the greatest city in the world, for two, and thirdly splitting Marya and myself apart. The summer months flew past faster than I could have imagined and made me realize what I had lost since graduating college. How far the afternoons of hanging out, watching movies, being generally awesome, and coming up with posts for this blog seem to be. Where the only worries were unfinished homework and when we were down to our last green nugget. Before, life was about finding things to keep you entertained. Now life is filled with monetary obligations and finding the moola to pay for those obligations. So we have replaced classes with jobs and have tossed irresponsibility out of the window to make way for a straight-edged, adult lifestyle. My dear readers, I must confess. I think it's a load of horse shit.

If it weren't for the disgusting amount of loan money I am forced to pay back, I don't think I would actually give two shits about being a functioning member of society. I quote Marya while watching "Surfer Dude" one afternoon, "I think I would be ok just living in a shack by the beach, and surfing all day." Exactly, my friend. I agree one-hundred percent. Ah, but life has to be difficult, and here we are.

For this reason I am restarting Sessions. It is a chance to get away from those god-awful adult things that seem to be sucking the vitality from me and remember that life is not meant to be taken too seriously. I can still live in that shack by the sea if only through a silly comment about what a twat Kristen Stewart still is, or when a great song comes out that makes me want to dance in a library or something (btw that song is Sexy Bitch by David Guetta ft. Akon...download it now.) Welcome back to Sessions. We promise it will be just as ridiculous as if we had never received those college degrees in the first place.

Oh ps-Marya, please start writing again. Sessions isn't Sessions without you...it's just me talking about how much I love GQ. Miss you.

Your daily FML

I love living vicariously through the pain and suffering of others. I consider it part of my charm. So when I found fmylife.com, you can imagine how enthused I was. It's an entire site dedicated to life's little fucked up moments. Usually I sit an read it while I'm at work, and I must look so weird LOL-ing to the computer screen. Anyway, if you haven't been to fmylife.com, please check it out. It's an instant pick-me-up for those shitty days. Here are a few especially funny ones I was looking at today.

"Today, the phone kept ringing but there was only silence on the other line. The third time I yelled, "What the fuck is your fucking problem asshole!? Get a fucking life shithead!" and hung up. Then the pastor's wife called and explained that she mistakingly set her phone on mute. FML"

"Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML"

"Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML"

"Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we proceeded to have sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell your faking." FML"

and the funniest....

"Today, I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend and a giant wave came and knocked off the bottom of my bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowded beach. She left me for half an hour, laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML"

Try to have a good day lovers!

It's Still Funny

Does anyone remember that tv show on Fuse called "Behind the Music that Sucks"? It was a parody of BTM obviously, but it was animated with a jib-jabesque cartoon scheme. They mostly made fun of the grous that were popular around 1999-2000 like Britney Spears, Mariah Carey, and Christina Aguilera, but they also poked fun at idols like Billy Joel. Anyway, the show was hilarious. My brother recently found probably the funniest of the episodes; their parody of Nsync. You can watch it below. If you don't think this is hilarious especially around -1:13, or -:58 then I don't know what's wrong with you. I'm still laughing at it right now and I have seen this video so many times! Enjoy!

More funny videos like the "Behind the music that sucks: NSYNC" at Heavy.com

Fake Date!

A few things...
First, let's all take a minute to wish Marya a speedy recovery from whatever she has because it's not fun being the only Sessions blogger with her being on her death bed...all...deathly and stuff. Get well soon, love!
Second, I love that because I post all these blogs about Kristen Stewart, Google has made the ads all about her on the sidebar. Crap. hmmm let's see if I can change that a bit
Coach bags, DSW Shoes, Shia Labouf, Jake Gyllenhaal, Kevin Bacon, American Apparel, Forever 21, Urban Outfitters, Louis Vuitton, Prada....hope that helps our little ad situation.
Third...and pertaining to the title of this post, I have a faux-date tonight. For my American Sign Language class, I have to attend two deaf related events. There happens to be a deaf school in Nesconsett where there is a deaf magic show tonight and I will be going with this guy in my class. We'll call him Lewis.
Not so interesting, right? Well the thing is it's been a joke (for quite a while now) between Marya and myself that Lewis and I are fake dating. We always seem to end up going on these random faux-dates. Last year he went with me to my sorority's annual, and we always seem to bump into each other at random functions and end up hanging out. Don't get the wrong idea...I'm pretty sure that Lewis is at least half homosexual, if not completely asexual. So I'm not planning on putting out my moves or anything for him. I do plan, however to look extremely hot as if this were a date...I just think it's funnier that way.
Oh, here's another reason why we're fake dating. I'm "meeting" his family tonight. His brother is home from college and Lewis wanted to drop in and say hello. This relationship is moving too fast if you ask me!
So that's how I will be spending my Friday night. I hope all of you out there enjoy your Fridays in the way that makes you most happy. If you have a funny dating story, similar to my situation or not, we'd love to hear from you. Leave us a comment or email us at sessionswithmaryaandsarah@gmail.com
Peace boo-boos.

photo- I googled imaged "fake-date" and this is what came up haha!!!

Happy Thursday!

Sessions with Marya and Sarah Loves Falcor!!