Unnaturally Good Looking...Damnit.

Just a quick post before I go to bed. I mean I could possibly go on and on about just seeing Twilight: Eclipse, but Jesus there just aren't that many hours in a day. Bottom line, loved the movie...a step up from New Moon and leaps and bounds over that piece of shit movie Twilight.

Ah, but I digress. No, what I wanted to talk about today is the fact that every single actor in that movie is too gorgeous for words. I am more specifically referencing to Taylor Lautner. The fact that an 18 year old can look that good, is just not right. I am not ok with it. I am reminded of a Family Guy episode where Peter goes on a rant about Lindsay Lohan. I would like to reiterate this rant with my own personal spin:

You know what really grinds my gears? This Taylor Lautner. Taylor Lautner with all those shirtless scenes, jumping around there on screen, half-naked with your abs. Ya know? You're a... You're out there jumping around and I'm just sitting here with my popcorn. So, what am I supposed to do? What you want? You know, are we gonna go out? Is that what you're trying to - why why are you leaping around there, showing me your muscles and fighting skills, over there in my face? What do you want, Taylor? Tell me what you want? Well, I'll tell you what you want, you want nothing. You want nothing. All right? Because we all know that nobody in Twilight wants to have sex with anyone, and to titillate us with any thoughts otherwise is - is just bogus.

Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson, Kellan Lutz, and now Xavier Samuel, are all out to destroy me with their good looks and just enough acting skill to keep me interested. Whoever hired these guys deserves a fucking raise...and me as their assistant so that I may (even for a second before I get thrown out for physical assault) look at these gorgeous creatures...and tell them to take their clothes off, err...for the role of course.

Well before this turns into some type of creepy fan fiction, I am off to bed. Taylor Lautner, you're legal now...and if I should ever see you in the street I am punching you in the jaw before I frantically try to make out with you. Just letting you know. Goodnight.