Pink Slips...Now with envelopes!

Oh blogging. The only job I should really have. I am currently sitting at my “paying” job completely bored. I have gone from blankly staring at my computer screen, to working on my cover letter and resume for a new job, to secretly playing fruit ninja, to now looking as though I’m being productive by typing out my blog post on Microsoft Word. Just as I was wondering, ‘What should I write about today?’ a news ticker appeared in my inbox titled, ‘Hallmark Launches Job Loss Sympathy Cards.’ Bingo. Considering I might be receiving one myself; if anyone knew how lazy I am sitting in this cube.


Job loss sympathy cards… I realize that its purpose is to be a nice gesture to someone coping with the crushing blow of losing one’s job in this kind of economy, but it seems to me that using a card to sympathize with said person is missing the mark sentimentally. Personally I might find it offensive. I mean, look at it this way. If I had just lost my job, and had no idea what the eff I was going to do about finding another one and some person who I once worked with handed me a card that said hey man….one door closes and a window opens. What do you say to that? Thank you? You have a job and can buy me pointless cards while I might have to sell this so I can buy a can of spaghettios to split between myself and my starving family for the next month. What if they put money in it? How inexplicably rude would that be? Sorry you lost your job, here’s 12 dollars. As if losing your job wasn’t enough, the sentiment following is the real blow to your ego.

The only way I could see these cards being useful is if the employers used them to fire/lay off their employees. Instead of that awkward “We’re moving in a different direction” shpeel, they just hand you a card in a pink envelope. A whole new definition for the term pink slipped! Now with cutesy phrases! They could even put your severance check in it. One stop you’re fired shop. Although I feel that buying the card would then hold the same stigma as when you buy condoms or lady products…Everyone will know exactly what you’re going to do with it.

It is sad. In the long run it’s another company making a quick buck off of something stupid. But the card making business has thrived off of this for a long time. Hell, there are entire holidays with the attached Hallmark moniker, (I’m looking at you Valentine’s Day). The fact that we need to acknowledge another event in the lives of another, especially one that would rather be left under the rug, is superfluous (like that word? I’ve been waiting since the 10th grade to use it in a sentence) I for one will not be buying my unemployed friends cards. I will be getting them really drunk, the way coping with job loss is supposed to go.

Until next time, Do work, son!

Funny pictures from around the interweb

I don't feel like writing, but here are some funny pictures I found while I was attempting to write! Enjoy.

Because I suck at finishing things...

I've been SCIENCED! into writing today. So for lack of a better post I am going to finish something I started on facebook. The 30 day song challenge...I failed it. With only three songs to go, I just kinda whatev'ed it and peaced. But damnit today, I am going to finish...so here they are..my last three songs of the 30 day song challenge.

Day 28: A song that makes you feel guilty-
Oh I'll one up this song...This song accompanied with this commercial makes me feel like the biggest douche in the world for not having enough money/resources to adopt every neglected pet in the country. I am seriously.



Yeah...feel that? That's the guilt...now go hug your dog.

Day 29: A song from your childhood-
I can go a number of routes with this one. If I go way back I can post songs from those Wee-Sing Together videos (which were the shit. The Mystery Musical Mansion episode is tits. period.) ooor any number of songs from the shows I watched as a kid, Winnie the Pooh, Eureka's Castle, even Gullah Gullah Island, oor I could go ahead and post any number of NSYNC and Backstreet Boys videos seeing as they dominated my adolescence blocking pretty much any other 90s music until they stopped making music. No, instead I am going to post a song that will always remind me of my childhood. A time when Disney knew how to make a good animated picture. My favorite Disney movie of all time, and favorite song from that movie.



Day 30: Your favorite song from this time last year
Easy one because I had to buy the CD because of it. I also believe this was the beginning of the end for me and the radio...the top 40 station progressively started to piss me off after this...now we don't even speak, and most days I want to rip it out of my car and throw it on the street. Please don't tell the radio I said that, it's fickle enough as it is. Thank SCIENCE! someone introduced me to 88.7 XPN or the radio and I would have parted a long time ago.



So I am finished. 30 (+) days of music that describes me as a person...although for most of the questions I could've had at least 5 different answers. I tried to choose the ones that stood out most to me. It is impossible to just have one song for a certain memory or emotion. How flat. No, music changes with me as it changes on its own, and that is the beauty of it. Anyway...until next time kiddies.

That McDonald's ad with the stupid nicknames

I'm still trying to track down a link to that McDonald's ad with the stupid nicknames. I don't know if I have become a total commercial snob now that I find myself studying them. Who listened to that pitch... better yet who let it get all the way to the finished product and still said "Sure that's great this is really going to sell the dollar menu". I don't usually like to pull the feminist card but I am truly insulted. If a girl like that really exists how does she have a boyfriend, how does he not just stop talking to her cold turkey. She lays on the nicknames in front of the friends, out in public and he still just eats it up. Desperate that whole commercial is desperate and they are on a dollar menu date- gross. If I have to watch that "ah chipmunk" one more time I may never eat McDonald's again, which then again may not be a bad thing.


As soon as I find a link I'll post it. Maybe I'll post more I feel better after getting out my commercial rage.

Cut the psycho-babble...it's a holiday.

Just a quick post. A friend of a friend posted on facebook today that today instead of "celebrating" like she used to, she will instead trust in Jesus...and then something along the lines of celebrating today hurts you soul or some shit...hold on now i feel the need to quote:

"Formerly, today I'd have "celebrated" this life (which ends in death) in a wordly, death-hastening way.....but now I can tell you- I have known the Lord, I am really living and I count all that fleeting "fun" as losses of the worst kind... and for any of you, my dear friends, who wake up today just go back to sleep.... please, come and see what REAL Life is all about #JesusChristnotmaryjane."

Alright. First of all, glad ya found Jesus and all...but you were a pothead. Don't forget your roots. The fact that she still observes the fact that it is 420 says a lot. No one forgets their favorite holidays. Shouldn't she be worried about that bigger holiday on Sunday...I dunno maybe the one that kind of STARTED the Christian religion? Why attack a day that doesn't even have it's own greeting cards?
Secondly, "fleeting fun as losses of the worst kind"? I wonder if her experience with the Plant (I might start typing it like that all the time capital letters and all...Jesus can't take up all the proper nouns) was any good at all, because I don't think she would feel as strongly against it had she enjoyed her time with it. True, people move on from things that don't fit their lifestyle anymore, but if the parting was "mutual" there can be no anger in looking back at it. I don't understand the judgmental tone. Exactly what part of today screams, Heathens!? If anything, today is a peaceful day, because most of the people who celebrate today are too lazy to do anything totally crazy.
Which leads me to comment also on "for any of you who wake up today, just go back to sleep" Look at the crowd your speaking to...of course we're going to go back to sleep, we're fucking potheads for crying out loud. I don't even know what that means. Then you invite us to see what REAL life is all about. Well, what is it about? For me, I think waking up everyday and living my life as a good person who works hard, cares for her family and friends, and enjoys life with or without the Plant is pretty real....but that's just me. I guess others might find that judging complete strangers on facebook and throwing Jesus in the mix is real...to each his own I guess.

As I was typing this, a few comments were posted on her link...first, my idiot friend who starts fights with anyone remotely religious, with his anti-religious psychobabble. Then I guess one of her friends with some non-intelligible gunk about how Jesus is the way...blah blah blah. It really doesn't even make sense to be honest. Like, at all....It's just Jesus this and Trust in Him that without any complete thought thrown in whatsoever. My friend may be a pushy non-believer, but wtf is that? It's not even complete sentences. And this is what makes me most mad, that some stupid debate over Jesus and drugs is going to happen over facebook. WHOOOO CAAARRREEESSSSS?!

My final thought on the whole thing? If you choose to follow Jesus, Buddah, Allah, flying spaghetti monster, whatever...that is your choice. It is also a choice to smoke weed. And both are OK. I may not believe in religion like others do, and I may be celebrating today the best way I know how, but that does NOT make me a bad person, or someone who is blind to reality. I live each day in the way that I choose. That is why God/Buddah/Allah/Flying Spaghetti Monster etc. gave us free will, so that we could make our own decisions about how to live our life. Do not judge someone simply because they are doing something you choose not to do anymore. I don't judge you for leading a life I choose not to live. Religious types always forget that little part. If there is a Jesus or God or whatever, I'm pretty sure His plan for His creations goes beyond what they choose to do on a Wednesday in April, but instead what they do in this life to better it, and for the future creations.

Oh...and for the record, there are WORSE things a person can do than smoke a bowl. Alcohol is perfectly legal, (Jesus drank it)...and it kills millions of people a year. War? Murder? Corruption? THESE are things that should be judged. Not a fucking day in April. So I'm going to change it to #JesusChristandMaryJane. The two go together nicely.

Snowed in Post

My bro started a blog and it motivated me to make a post....Not sure what I want to rant and rave about though. My last post I was working on a few months ago was going to be so good...but it's a huge undertaking. It's basically saying how all pop music nowadays sound exactly like one another. I'll post it eventually, but...not tonight. It's snowing, and I'm feeling lazy.

So what does one talk about when there is nothing else to talk about? Oh, the weather. Which happens to be quite interesting...Snowpocalypse 2011 featuring THUNDERSNOW! Crazy ass weather...I wonder at what age did I start to hate snow? Might've been that first time I was encouraged to shovel the driveway. Lucky for me I have two brothers who get the brunt of that delightful duty. Still, I now dread going outside when I used to not be able to sleep the night before a snow day.

I think it's the fact that older people are discouraged from playing in the snow. If adults could just plop on the snowy ground and make snow angels or build snowmen on their lunch breaks, everyone could enjoy the snow. Oh, and if the fact that driving in the stuff is like signing your own death warrant weren't an issue, I'm sure much more people would appreciate the phenomenon as well.

There is definitely a disconnect....might be that "snow days" are few and far between. I took a snow day because I couldn't make it out of my driveway and felt bad about missing work the entire day....wtf is that? Feeling bad about taking a snow day?? Something's wrong there.

Ahh despite all that unpleasantness snow is probably one of the most beautiful things to behold. Everything gets very quiet, even in the middle of the day. It also just falls so nicely, like it didn't mean to intrude, and just lays on the ground with the rest of it's snowy brothers and sisters. Also, the blanket it creates over everything just looks so pretty. It sparkles in the sunlight, and makes the coolest noise when you step on it.

Snow...you're the weather I just can't make my mind up about. You're annoying, and cold, and prevent me from leaving my house, but you are just about the prettiest thing I have witnessed. Maybe I should go make a snow angel, and see how I feel about it then...