Well kiddies, 2008 has finally come to a close. With this, I came to thinking about all the things that we at Sessions have been through/celebrated/laughed at/got drunk at....It would just be impossible name every single event that we hold dear, but I Sarah, list-making extraordinaire, have done it again. Here is a recap of 2008 as seen through the eyes of Marya, myself, and the people who made our 2008 such a great year.
I present to you 2008: A Sessions Top 10.
10. The Creation of Sessions with Marya and Sarah:
Where would this list be if there wasn't a Sessions? As I have explained before, Sessions started as a briliant idea between Marya and me in 308, and since then has become the inspiration for a lot of our jokes, our memories, and those tiny little hopes we have of becoming famous. Without meaning to sound cheesy, Talking about Sessions, or acting like we were on Sessions in Marya's room are some of the best times I have had in 308, and the beginning of this blog makes me smile to think of how it all began.
9. Weezer Concert and the $190 Bar Tab
What started out as a blitz decision from Rennie to see our favorite band, turned into one of the best concerts I have seen in my life so far. Even if Marya and Meg didn't really know or were into Weezer, it didn't matter it was a concert at Madison Square Garden, of course we had to do it up right. J's before the train, Tall boys on the train, then an early arrival led us to a bar where we stocked up on wings, moz sticks, and $190 worth of alcohol! If that wasn't enough..Let's add more beers at the concert, three more J's inside MSG, 2 cigarettes (after complaining that we needed nicotine...now, and not wanting to travel the 8 flights of stairs to ground level to go outside, Rennie and I were fucking stealth about smoking them in our seats) and screaming our heads off about Weezer being the best fucking band in the entire world...all makes for one awesome night in the city. It's those types of nights that makes me wonder how anyone could not love NYC.
8. Spring Break 08: Grandma's Fridge Will Never Smell the Same
We packed Sally the Saturn and it was off to Grandma's house we go...to sunny, Buffalo? Oh wait, that's right there was no sun, there was snow...and cold though. It was the anti-spring break but it didn't stop the tripod. We rocked G-ma's house, under the eyes of a crucifix in every room....From hiding the Dunes in her fridge, and being so bored we didn't need herbal enhancement to act like we were high, coming up with the best phrase "She had her sahks on...she fuckin' fell" making new best friends with Marya's cousin's husband who introduced us to the hidden hilarity that is "The Bad Girl's Club, and Rock of Love...one word "Diiiaaaabbeeetteeesss" To eating the best wings that I have ever tasted. Despite a few minor car poblems "Hey, do you guys smell smoke? Holy shit there's sparks flying from the dashboard!" Then it was off to a more sunny Cape Cod where from being hushed for laughing too much in church, and being forced to chug wine with Marya's friend Mark, there was never a dull moment. Most people go to Cabo for Spring Break...we don't play that shit. Give us an empty house, some forties, and the tripod, and we're good to go.
7. The End of an Era: Saying Goodbye to 308
Probably the only sad item on this list, there are no words to express just how hard it was leaving that room. Since our lucky break Freshman year thanks to Jenna's arguing skills, and we landed in 308 Suffolk, most of the happiest memories I have about college stem from that room. Although Marya and I were leaving it for 37 Bradford, and Meg still lives there, it was hard knowing that never again would we all sit together in Meg and Marya's room Myself on Marya's bed, Marya by her desk and Meg in her office chair after "prepping" the room and just doing what we do best on probably 5 out of the 7 days of the week. From the legendary parties we threw sophmore year, to the casual spot it became Junior year, that room was more of a home to us than our actual houses. I think our little mark on the wall says it best:
"You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does..." This was our home for two years. ML-MW-SG
Even in that little quote, there is so much that is said about that room, and why 308 was more than just a dorm room to us.
6. Vampire Weekend in the Rain
Well, Our good friend Nicole suggested a free concert in Central Park. Half of the train ride to the city I kept forgetting the name of the band. Little did I know that this concert was probably the most fun I have ever had at a concert...including Weezer. Now you might say, oh yeah Vampire Weekend they fucking rock...but at the time they were still pretty unknown (They've come very far since June) Mostly I was going to get the fuck out of our house which was a sweat-box-death-trap, and of course being in NYC during the summer makes me happy just thinking about it. So we expected a crowd, but we were nowhere near prepared for what we came across when we got into the park. A humongous line probably making its way out of the park entirely. While some of us (Nicole) thought it would be best to start making our way to the end of the line, Marya is like fuck that and hops in line somewhere in the middle, sure enough we just make it in time, the guys at the gates were closing them on us just as Nicole and I were trying to make it through. Soo after passing what seemed like another hundred check points we make it into the venue and it is packed...with 16 year old scene kids....smoking pot...We were soo unprepared! To make matters worse, it looked like it was going to start raining. Sure enough it starts to downpour, and I mean...the heavens opened up and let it all out. Rather than be sensible and call it a good effort, we the stubborn jackasses were like no, we came...we are going to see this damn concert. Plus it didn't look like anyone was leaving either anyway. So we're standing in the rain..soaked to the bone rockin out...the opening bands played through the rains but then the real storm comes. There was lightning that stretched across the sky and thunder that made it seem like there was an accompanying earthquake. Still, we stayed and rocked the fuck out. Finally it let it up a little bit and Vampire Weekend finally came on. When I say I'm glad we waited, that is a complete understatement. The crowd is really what made it...We were all soaked to death and so pysched to be hearing this awesome band...even in the rain, it was a perfect summer afternoon in Central Park. Well, during their set it starts to storm again and this time it was worse than before...so we finally are like fuck it...and leave. It is pouring and I can't walk with my flip flops on so I take them off and now I am running through the soaked New York streets barefoot...and there are no cabs. So Marya, Nicole and I are just running up and down park avenue without our shoes on in the river that has formed against the sidewalks trying to catch a cab...mainly just running because hell, we're soaked and barefoot...we must look crazy anyway. Eventually we got our soaked asses back to LI. It didn't stop raining until that night. Man, it's just another reason why I love New York. Even when it's pouring rain, you can still have fun barefoot in the park.
5. April 20th, In the Year of our Lord, Two-Thousand and Eight
Ahh April 20th. Probably the best Holiday in the world. If you don't recognize this day as a Holiday, I suggest you stop reading this blog we obviously aren't on the same level here. It took about three days in preparation for this day including shopping for supplies for a days worth of doing what Marya, Rennie, and I do best. It was 10 am and we piled into the Command Center and began our marathon. We listened to Music, we looped, and we just celebrated man...What was even cooler was that Hofstra's intramural field where "the bench" once stood, and was a common spot for smoking enthusiasts, was in full swing. A bunch of kids were just sitting on the field smoking. P-Safe would just pass them and nothing...so we headed out and did the same. I felt euphoric. There were people playing frisbee, and tossing a football around, someone was playing a guitar. We all just sat in our little circles and celebrated the day. It was awesome. The only downfall of the day? We had to go meet with the people who were going to possibly reny us their house with our realtor at 4:30. So...around that time we headed to Bethpage high as fucking kites and met the family who thought we were all lovely and well behaved young ladies...hmmm...Well, something must have worked because it was on that day we got the house on Bradford Lane, and I somehow contribute that to celebrating April 20th. Damn, I love that Holiday.
4. Debate 08- Our School is Cooler than Yours
Need I say more? Hofstra hosted a Presidential election. Did your school do that? No..it did not. And that entitles me to say that My school rocks, and yours...just doesn't.
3. Summer 2008: Cross-Breeze My Ass
So when we got the house we were a little concerned that there wasn't any air conditioning, but we were blindly assured from our renter that we really didn't need it...the house got a cross breeze that basically acted like one so the house never really got that hot. Um...bullshit. That house was a fucking sweat box. Especially my room which must've been at least 20 degrees warmer than the rest of the house. I literally would move and start sweating. It was actually cooler to sit outside in the sun than to sit in the house with the fan blowing on your face. My God that house got hot... Sometimes I felt like e-mailing our renter complaining that one us suffered from heat stroke just to rub it in her face that the cross-breeze she spoke of was a complete myth and no amount of yoga or feng shui or whatever those people did during the summer would even constitute that house being the slightest bit cool.
2. The Night That Bruce Came
Oh it is a tale that will be told for years and years to come. It was the night where we were so trashed, and so high and so scared....When I reminiss about college, I will alway think about the night that Bruce came. I wrote about it a little bit after it happened so I would never forget, and I feel I have to post it here, because it really captures just exactly how crazy the whole ordeal was:
I think I have to write this story down, just so I don't ever forget that it happened. This past weekend was by far the craziest moment to ever happen in my life.
I'll start by saying that February is known to be my "cursed" month. Strange/weird and often bad things happen to me during the month of February. It also brings out the crazy side in the people around me. I don't know if it's the shortage of days, or maybe it's a bridge between the renewal of spring and the bleak of winter, February is just a crazy month. So on Friday the first of February I guss the month saw it fit to be extra crazy, and here's what happened:
My roommate Meg came back from winter break suddenly no longer engaged to Bruce, her 26 year old bf. They were also on a break because quite frankly the two couldn't stand each other when they were together, and I think they both started to realize it. Anyway, they are on this break, and Meg decides that she is going to live her life and get back to Bruce if there's time.
On that Friday he had been texting her all day long saying thnigs like "I'm an idiot, I should have treated you better, I can't lose you...blah blah blah" Meg, Marya (my other roommate) and I were all busy that day. It was Friday and it was going to be the first Happy Hour of the semester, and we needed to go to the mall for some errands, go get booze for the rest of the weekend. We had previously planned to make this the weekend to just go crazy. So this texting thing was just stressing poor Meg out, and she finally answered back, "Listen, I can't talk about this now...I'm too busy I'll talk to you when I have time." I don't think that exactly worked out for Bruce. He started texting her mean things like "Fuck you, I want to talk about this and you'd rather ignore me, Fuck this Fuck that, you're a bitch..." the works. So meg decides she isn't going to stand for this and she starts fighting fire with fire with the same kind of texts, "fuck you, every time I wanted to talk you weren't ready, why do I have to run on your time? Fuck you, I've wasted three years on our sorry ass" I mean they were just going at it non stop. Then he starts to call her and she just keeps ignoring his calls, ignoring his calls, and the guy keeps calling back!! Then all of the sudden her best friend Steph, who is roommates with the both of them in Maryland (where Bruce is stationed in the Navy) starts iming her like "what is going on? please answer me" and starts to call her too. Meg thinks this is Bruce pretending to be Steph. This is around 6:30 and we have to get to the bar so she puts down the phone, and is like "you know what? I don't need this" So she turns off the phone and she leaves it in her room, and we leave for the bar.
Happy Hour was so much fun...Just a side note...The Dizzy Lizard is such a crap hole in the middle of the ghetto...but it's like one of my favorite places to go to after a long week and just talk and drink and smoke and dance with my friends. I absolutely LOVE happy hour. So do Meg and Marya. So on the way over we were discussing how proud Marya and I were of her just taking a stand. So tonight she was going to get crazy and get some strange ass and just do whatever the hell she wanted without having to worry about the consequences, the one rule? Do not let her go home with any of the strange ass. Happy hour was fabulous as usual, until it started to clear out around 9 for the switch over to Nacho Mamma's (another pretty sweet bar down the road where the HH regs go for the after party) Marya Meg and I decided to skip Nacho's since we were pretty broke, and drunk anyway and just go back to our room and smoke. The only thing stopping us from leaving was Meg, who was literally sucking the face off of this random guy who was friends with some work friends of Meg and Marya's. He had her pushed up against the back wall and I mean, they were hard core making out. At one point she was licking his fingers. The bartenders were throwing ice at them we even had the bartender call her out and say, "Meg, unless there is going to be some clitoral stimulation...your roommates would like to go home." They ignored it and kept macking. In between taking funny pictures of them making out Marya and I were discussing if maybe we should just leave her with the guy...I would give her my phone and she could call us if anything should happen. Marya was like. "no we promised we wouldn't let her go home with any strangers so we should just pry them apart and get going." Eventually we unhook them and leave for the room.
So we get back and start to smoke. I'm looking at the funny/crazy pics we took of Meg and her make out partner and then Meg puts them on the computer. We also just start discussing how fucked up we are when we hear a knock at the door. We definitely sobered up right there. We were like shit it's public safety we're going to jail...put all the shit away. So while Marya and I are scrambling to cover up the traces of our escapades, we send Meg to answer the door because she's Meg and can pretty much flirt her way out of anything. She opens up the door and we hear her say, "What are you doing here?" Marya and I think shit it's Eric (our RA) or even the guy from the bar...so she steps outside and Marya and I are frozen in fear...we're either going to die or go to jail...So Marya gets up and checks the front door from the peep hole and come back in with her eyes wide open and just says, "It's fucking Bruce."
My jaw literally dropped to the floor. Without missing a beat I was like "shut the fuck up....what the fuck?" So I get up and go to check the door...It was fucking Bruce!!! Just standing there holding Meg's hands and talking to her. I go back into the room where Marya is sitting at her desk literally frozen in shock. I said once again, "what the fuck?" Marya just looks at me. Then the door opens and Meg comes back in with Bruce and is like "Oh heeey, look whose here..." I just stare at him like...dude...you're an insane person. Then Meg says, "we're going to go out here to talk," and they go out into the common room.
Marya and I are just sitting in fear. We were pretty sure Bruce had come up here in a rage to kill us all. We started analyzing what had just happened. Meg turned off her phone at 6:30 when we left for the bar, so that meant in order to get here when he did, he would have had to have left around the same time. He left literally after Meg stopped answering his calls. Just got into his car and started the trek on up to NY. That's at least 20 bucks in tolls and God knows how much on gas. It's a three hour drive from my house, and an extra two from the part of Maryland he's stationed at. He was driving for 5 hours just to talk to Meg. Yeah, we were pretty sure he came here to murder us all. We just sat in silence. Both completely fucked up and now petrified that our best friend was being strangled and we were next. We would only speak to say what the fuck? or what I kept saying, "This doesn't happen...this shit JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN!" We decided to call one of our guy friends to come keep us company and make sure we didn't die without a fight. So we called Eddie our next door neighbor. When he came over the first thing Marya said was "Is everyone still alive, did he kill her yet?" Eddie looked really confused and we told him the story up to that point. I said once again, "That shit just doesn't happen!!" Then we decided it would be best to change subjects...we were freaking ourselves out way too much.
When Eddie left, I looked at Marya again and I said, "Dude...I can't handle this. Pack the bowl again..I need to not be here right now." So we started to smoke again still not speaking, trying to listen for any sounds of a struggle, and looking around the room for any type of weapopn we might be able to defend ourselves with. When all of the sudden, the fucking fire alarm goes off!!!! Marya and I looked at each other, like are you shitting me? Are you fucking kidding me??? So we put everything away really quick and evacuate the building. When we get outside there are police cars and ambulances...something actually did happen. This wasn't some routine thing. Meg says nonchalantly, "Oh we're going to go wait in Bruce's truck" Marya and I stiffen up and were like, okay here it is...we are actually going to die. He probably has cronies with him who pulled the fire alarm and now he's going to drive us away and throw us in the East River. So we get in the truck..stupid us, and Bruce does this dramatic throw his glasses off thing and begins to run his temples. Ummm ok asshole...if you're going to kill us don't be a dramatic faggot about it. Meg, bless her heart tries to make conversation "I can't believe you found the campus." she says to Bruce...Bruce says, "I can't believe I found all those bars." Marya without hesitation was like, Ummm what??? Bruce says to Meg "I went to the bars around here looking for you." I now am having a panic attack. I'm in a truck with a potential murderer who was looking for my friend while she was hardcore making out with some guy, and we left probably moments before he could have killed us all. I literally cannot breathe at this point, and Marya grabs my hand to let me know she was thinking the exact same thing.
Then we start freaking out because we might not have put everything away. Maybe it was our room that started the fire alarm. We were once again going to go to jail. We were going to be murdered and then we going to go to jail. Everyone starts to go back into the building, and Marya and I decide that if a cop is at our door, to run the other way and catch the first train to Pennsylvania. Thankfully there were no cops, and no letters saying we were busted. All of our supplies were still in their drawers. But the axe murderer was still here, and he was now staying the weekend. Well, after all of the excitement Marya and I were pretty tired, and if we were going to die, we would like to go in our sleep. So we decide it was time for bed. Thankfully our other roommate was at her bf's for the night so I was like "Marya sleep in Christina's bed!!" Marya didn't have to be asked twice, and although Meg was like, "oh nothing's going to happen" "No, please stay." Marya was like "fuck that! Seacrest out!" So we were roomies for the night still silent only to say, "That shit just doesn't happen."
February is fucking crazy man, it just is. There is something wrong with it. The rest of the weekend was spent giving Bruce the stink eye, and being completely rude to him in the process which included leaving them alone all day.. Saturday (they went to the city anyway) and then making them sit by themselves at a coffee house where a Marya Christina a few of our work friends and me went to see our co-worker play the guitar. Then we went to a party without them. He left Sunday Morning and by that time Marya and I had told the story to at least a dozen people each. I mean seriously, that kind of stuff never does happen. You only see that psycho kind of shit in the movies. It doesn't happen in real life, and it happened right in front of us. We were in shock/fear the entire weekend. It's February....it just has to be. This story isn't possible in other months...So the moral of this story is Beware of February...it's a fucked up month!!
A night that will live in infamy...I look back on it now and I think of just how funny/fucked up it was...and it just makes me realize just how much college makes life that much more interesting.
1. 37 Bradford, and Everything That Led Us to Finding It
Well, Marya and I decided that we were done with the dorm life, and we set out to find a house that wouldn't break our bank but would be a place we could call home. So we gathered a few people who would live with us next year those people being Marya and myself and Ali my sorority sister, then Rennie, and later Mike, Marya and my co-worker when we decided it would be easier to afford a house with five people paying rent. So we set out to find our house which is not an easy task at all. It led us to Barb a real estate agent from century 21 who introduced us to Eric, who showed us 4 houses the first day we met him, 3 out of the 4 being complete crack houses...one we were pretty sure actually was a crack house. He did show us one nice house, and it was nice enough to ask if we could put money down on it..So we thought this was a done deal. He even brought Barb along with him, who we figured out was his wingman/wife/bitch-ho whatever who more or less was forcing us to put money down right on the spot. The next day I get phone call from him saying he wanted to show us another house. Fine. Doesn't matter, we still want the other house. So he shows us this house that looked like the Bradys once lived in it and proceeds to tell us that the renter of the house does not want to rent to college kids. Uh ok..well let's keep looking. So we were taken to another good-looking house but it was very far from where we needed to be. Yet again he brought along Barb who did make us put money down... $600 to be exact. So ok, it's a little far, but the house was awesome. The next day I get another phone call saying I want to show you another house. I literally interupted him and said "Are you doing that thing where you show us the house and then tell us the other house is a no-go?" He says "uh yeah, turns out that house was rented the day before you saw it." I was like wtf? why would you even show it to us then? We put money down on that house! He said he could keep our checks and show us more houses and then use that money for ones we picked and were like fuck no..so we had to stopp payments on the checks we gave them. After that, we hear nothing from them. They just stopped calling and every time I tried to call I either got an answering machine, or it said the phone was out of service. It's April at this point and Marya and I are ready to give up. We both got singles in the towers and were just going to have to deal with living on campus. So after feeling like we had been dicked over twice from probably the two biggest losers in the real estate world, we found 37 Bradford all because Rennie's mother was making her take out her nose ring and I went along with her to the piercing place. We saw that there was an open house in a nearby development. We thought what the hell..it couldn't hurt.
It was there we found Tony Albergo. The house he was showing was for sale and not for rent but he promised to help us out after we told him about our little problem with our previous realtors. The first house he showed us 37 Bradford, and I fell in love almost instantly. It was in a nice neighborhood, it didn't look like crack was coming out of the walls, and it was insanely affordable. He showed us one other house which was also very nice...once again not a complete crack house. It took three days for us to have an official lease and a move-in date. Three fucking days compared to three months with the other two who must have shown us about 8 houses. So on the move-in date I decided that it just wasn't cool what Barb and Eric did to us, so I was going to call and complain. I called them, and Barb picked up. I said "Hey, listen I don't know if you thought that just because we were college kids that we didn't take the house thing seriously but I thought you guys were very unprofessional with us. We had to go through another realtor who found us a house in three days! No thanks to you morons." She then hung up on me. Ok, ok maybe I shoud've been a little nicer...I never claimed to be eloquent when I'm mad. So we're moving into the house a little bit and I get a call from a restricted number. I pick up and all of the sudden I hear Barb's voice go "Listen you lesbian cunt...you and your dyke friends can go fuck yourselves" and she then proceeds to yell a string of profanities at me. I just start laughing and saying I can't believe you're calling me a lesbian cunt I am literally laughing my ass off into the phone as she is yelling at me. She hangs up and I can't stop laughing. So after that I call up the Century 21 she worked at and found out that this wasn't the first time that she and Eric have done that to people. The manager of the Century 21 wasn't even sure if they were still allowed to show people houses. I was like wtf? What is the matter with you people? Either way I really just thought it was completely hilarious that she called me a lesbian cunt....It didn't matter though, we had 37 Bradford, and it has been amazing since then. That house feels more like a home to me than my own house in PA feels now. The people I live with are my family, and I love them like one. I guess finding a house the easyy way just isn't our style, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
So there you have it. The Sessions top 10 of 2008. Every little moment that made 2008 such a great year. I can't wait to see what 2009 will hold for us. I'm sure that February will bring more craziness, and even though I gag as I type this, I am graduating in May....holy shit. But these moments I have listed here, plus the hundreds of others I can't go on to list make what has been probably the best year I have experienced. I just have to say thanks to anyone who was there for them, especially to Marya...I knwo you'll eventually read this, and I don't mean to sound sappy...but I don't know if these moments would have been half as fun if I didn't have you going through them with me. We've been through so much since we've been friends, and I can't even express how happy I am to call you my friend. Love you, dude.
And with that, I end this incredibly long post. Have a happy and healthy new year.
